i secretly wish i was a dog

my dog does 3 things in no particular order.
eat,shit/piss,sleep

if that was the extent of my life i would be a happy man.......really

im delrious from sickness that the normal person can't even begin to comprehend...

its called "cotton fever" google it.....

back on the "mud" -- i guess im resigned to the fact that this is life and im destined to always fail.

theres so many lame contridictions about being a "junky" like oh i wont muscle that..or oh i wont stick a spike in my jugular....fuck if u told me dog shit got me high id probably stick it in my body...im so fucking sick of the scum that judge.

i was looking at my last blog that was written during a dark and particularly hellish time (i was homeless--then for some reason decided to go to NC... new hell unto-itself) and i started to shed a tear...cause at least i was "clean" then and it made sense,,this is just some cluster fuck of emotions / ideas im feeling.

you know, a pistol really doesn't taste that bad.